Wednesday, May 16, 2007
todae horx....veri sian....worked from 4pm till closing at TM....Kaixin came in e aftnn....chit chatted...den in e end ...she hlp mi serve customer...lol...free labour...after awhile....she left lor...went to buy shoe...den i go walk walk...lol...tou tou de ... in e end buy shampoo for miself...try out e sunsilk SUPER SOFT shampoo...see if reali will work anot ..lol...den go watson...test test e perfume...haha...$3.90...tot of buying..but...e queue at e cashier damn long nehx...jiu suan le...go back to work le....on e way back mi boi called mi...ask mi where i am...of cox at work la...at TM....lol...he was at bishan...blur sia...todae i work TM he go bishan look for mie...aniwae..he oso came doen to TM...to dae closing veri late sia...i had a tummyaches...jiu go toilet...came out...jiu late le...den i tink e way i close shop todae reali like snail...like no strength no strength de...plus like keep forgetting tis n forggetting that de...lol...blur le...OH YA..!!...this aftnn on e way to work...veri mad lor....i sit in e bus e double deck 65..i sit dwnstair e vertical de chair e last seat ma...later at e safre there got 2 ite boys got up e bus...they jiu sit at e behind mi the horizontal chair...den i heard them sae.."ni gan jian ma?" "gan , ke shi mei you jian dao" "wo gei ni jian dao ni gan jian ma" and 1 of e guy pass e other a pair of scissors...but at e corner of my eye..i can see what they are doing...they wana cut MY hair..!!!...IDIOTICS man...i WANA SLAP them lor...but i tink they snipped off abit...cux i heard them laughing so happily..like they have accomplised smting....SHIT LOR... @$@#^*(&%^$%!%$#^ ... enuff abt that...i wana go watch movie lehx...wana watch e 28weeks later....wanna watch it in e AFTERNOON...lol...tired of doin things at nite onli...sianx lor...sm more i wana watch in GV...n i wana go WALK WALK...i wan go GENTING lehx....but horx...cant seem to save up that sum of money...shit...wat a louser saver i am...my money jux flies away like that de lor....todae still transfered 100 to mi kor...duno for wat purpose...haix...nxt 2 daes work FULL SHIFT at BISHAN lor...boring place...but i alwaes go shopping..haha...den jiu shi CHALET liaox....but...i dnt knw e ppl at e chalet...dun care...mayb dun even intend to stay there...lol....go to e beach n sit there watch e sunrise ..enjoying the view by myself...i alwaes dun get to watch sunrise with the person i want to...lol...so i watch myself...so far i onli c 1 time onli...long ago at my family chalet...since then...i hardli have time to see e sunrise...bu ran jiu shi too tired le...hope tis time i dnt miss it lor....or mayb got alcohol to drink lehx....get drunk....lol...jiu slp le...i tink i shld get sm slp le...tmr still gotta wake up at 8am..
Just The Girl @
2:42 AM
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
mi papa hospitalised nehx...sadx sadx...HIGH blood pressure at first....todae i go..they sae he got little bit of kidney problemx...mayb need to hav dialysis lor....sianx....stayed there e whole dae...hmm...many ppl came too...haix...life is lidat ba....sheng lao bing si....rites.....e baker called mi...sae they hav found another person...jux bcux i asked if the paycould be $6.50 instead of $6....wa lao....lidat jiu choose another gal....den i b reserved....wat the hell...todae...mood not so good lor...humph....heard he goin to ZOO tmr lorx...wif sm of his frenx...not tt dun like him to go out wif his frenx lor...jux tt...hmm...mayb i jealous or watx i oso duno.....i sorta planned goin to e zoo wif him on his bthdae....but...tings didnt work out...till nw...ijux dnt get to go out with him...in e dae time...i dnt like....when i off....he either has to work..or go to sch....e last time we went out in e dae time was e 1st of may lor...i oso can rem...todae...15th may le worx...AHHH!!!!!CONTROL!!!!!!chalet faster come faster come.....i wana run away from reality....i'm tiredx.....real tiredx.....but i cnt do anitin....life is alwaes unfair....hopex my parents stay healthy alwaes...1 has cancer...nw 1 has a little bit of kidney problemx....n a veri high blood pressure....how...no matter wat....cannot cry...i dnt wana let them c mi cry...call mi cold blooded...but...i shall control every single tears i have...and not let them worry...i shall be strong....
Just The Girl @
12:38 AM
Thursday, May 10, 2007
in e end..i tink i take e baking e job bahx.....altho pay lesser....but much more comfortable...hmm...sudd rem...that time...i buy many many tingx for scrapbooking nehx....but...i no chance to do lehx....cux..i sudd realise that...we dnt take any photos...no photo together de...i wanted it to b a surprise present for our 1 year together...(i tink veri far ahead horx..??....lol...nw 7 mnth onli....))....aniwae...wanted to make de...but...no photo...sadz....haix...haix..tmr will b a long long dae.............
Just The Girl @
11:05 PM
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
hmmm...aniway...everytinx back to normal lahx...
went to watch SPIDERMAN3 todae.!!..quite nice la...but some parts i dun like...lol..dun like wen he treat e ger like tt...haha...aniwayx...i was suppose to treat de..!!!...but horx...mi boss la...nvr bank in my pay todae...todae PAY DAE nehx..!!...sianx...jiu msg her...HAVE YOU BANK IN MY PAY..I AM IN NEED OF MONEY..lol...den she ask mi i wan contribute CPF anotx....OF COX NOTX...=p...haha...
yesterdae...i went to interview..to b sales and brand ambassador...lol...equals...sales promoter la...haha....work for OCBC bank...promote credit card lo...1 mnth basic $1200...work 5 daes a week onli lehx..haha...my interview was a total wreck....i totali lost it...haha...onli can hear my heart thumping and my whole body turning red.!!..lol..they ask mi qns...i "uhh...", "ermx...", if not jiu shi *silence*...i tink i cld even hear a pin drop...lol...i totali screwed up....there are other 2 candidaates yesterdae oso...lol..a man n my ite coursemate..but she didn recognise mi...lol...i tot thy wld get e job...they all came out looking confidant....n smiling... was e last to go in...e guy even wished mi luck lorx...lol...n it was real good luck...haha...in e end...i got e job...surprise surprise...but i didnt sign e contract yets...i wanna go my other interviews before i decide...plus this job is onli 6 mnth contract onli....
ah....tmr gotta work lo....tmr full shift...fri full shift...sat full shift....sun full shift....onli got thurs to shopping ah....interview ah...lol...i wan buy SHOE..!!!>...i tink b my shoe veri pathetic..alwaes spoil de nehx....sianx...lol...
to my boi
** 
**
Just The Girl @
9:10 PM
Sunday, May 6, 2007
another sad dae....felt like i've lost smtin....i dnt knw how to explain...jux feel...so alone...so alone...hao xiang ku...reali feel like crying...sudd...BAM!...i felt like i've lost sm1...it may b exaggerating...but..tt's reali hw i feell....haix...i cant cry...why am i so weak...stupid mi!!!!...idiot mi..!!!...jux smtin small....n i wanna cry...!!..wats wrng with mie...mayb i am...real weak...emotionali...tired of coopin up n cry to myself...wish there was a shoulder for mi...why dnt ppl invent *rent-a-shoulder*...ppl neednt cry on their own then....i wish this feeling would go away...n everytin wld go back to normal...PLEASE....it hurts...alot...these few daes...i oso duno why...guess there's smtin wrng wif mi isnt it...
Just The Girl @
11:49 AM
Saturday, May 5, 2007
after his ans last nitex...my heart shattered...woke up tis morning thinking...have i done smtin wrng to deserve tis...i gave in to things tt means so much to mie...i nvr ask much frm him...i dnt tink i ask anitin frm him nw...all i've done...is worthless...??....went to work with no mood...no feelings...he called to sae sori n ask if i'm angry...my heart had shattered...n i dun feel anitin...todae..jux kept myself busy busy...so i wnt tink too much into things...jux nw was watcjing the entertainment show..they were playing the song "勇气 "....upon hearing that...i reali wish i could give him this song...some of the sentences/verses...relates to how i feel...reali...exactli e same as how i feel...
终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃
爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里
你的真心
如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你
my mum alwaes saes;
whoa..he VIP ah...wanna invite him to dinner oso hard..
why he dun come...we so scary izit?
i've forgotten wat he looks like...
since he not sincere...dun tink he's suitable for you...
dun tink you will last long...
i dnt even have to ask him...n..i would knw his ans...
sometimes..wen i have many problems in my head...parents...relationship...i tend to get moody....n dun feel like talking...i feel veri stressed...i start to tink..is taking all the "sarcacism" worth it...is following my heart all it takes...
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义...
i love e way he kisses my forehead..it makes mi feel....tt everytin is alrite...n tt everytin will work out smway...i'm weird arent i...am i asking too much...?...i dnt knw...does all the problem lie with mie? u sae i alwaes angry with u...but...99% of those angry times..were fake...all those things tt reali matter to mie...i gave in..or rather...let it be...i daren't reali get angry with u..to mie...a BIG quarrel = breakup..i rather you b angry with mi...n i jux take it...
如果说爱已不可为,
那我宁愿藏心里面,
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉...
lost...i tink...i'm lost...dnt knw wich way to go anymore...
it's me...isnt it..?
i've nvr been a long relationship...i reali dnt knw wat to expect...
SORRY...
tis is gona b a soggy n salted diary...if i were to actuali write it...
*tearsxz*
Just The Girl @
4:57 PM
Thursday, May 3, 2007
heyo...
have a splitting headache todae...ARGH!!!..wana bang my head against the wall liao la...haix...tink is not enuff slp ba...no choice lehx...tis morning slept in the bus...until reach e interchange i oso duno...lucky i sudd wake up n jump dwn e bus...lol..if not veri VERI paiseh...last nite i fried rice..lol..my dad sae veri nice...well i used a diff way to fry it bahx...hmm...dnt knw he will come todae anotx...dun tink so ba...?...since...its once in a blue moon kinda ting...but wen i work at TM last time...he alwaes come de lehx...but duno why here jiu dnt come..its e same amnt of time to travel to here n to TM norhx...haix...duno lahx....headache!!!!how...!!!..
i cant wait for the 16th of may to come...lol..can start ordering the clothes nehx...haha...aniwaes...plannin on quitting tis job le...mayb work for the bank promoting credit card...hvnt go for the interview yetx lo..they havnt tell me wen...quite a tempting pay lo...like tt..i dun tink i'll evaa b bankrupt b4 my nxt pay arrives ba...is 6 mth contract onli...shld b no prob de lor...jeexx...
OMG !! I'm falling aslp..!!...sales hvnt enen reach $100...die lo...no business le lahx...i wanna go home..!!...TIREDX...
hmm...i'm scared...1 dae...if i cnt tske those sarsacism anymore...i dnt knw wat i'll do...breakdown...??...break-up...??...i dun tink i'm up2 it....it hurts u knw...it reali hurts...mayb i shldnt talk onli...n do sm actionx..??....he dsnt meet my parents= i dnt meet his parents...he dun come my hse= i dun go his hse....like this den fair ba....why am i alwaes givving in in these kinda things which matters so much so much...is there anytin wrng wif mi...tt dae wen we went to ECP..i had prepared to talk to him seriousli...but i bu ren xin...it didnt came out of my mouth still...i love him...but...does he...??...if he does...WHY..does he hav to put mi in such a difficult position...between he n my parents...why doesnt he tink for mi...and hav to make mi so miserable from time to time...my parents cnt even rem wat he looks like...i cnt even rem wen was e last time they saw him...i'm disappointed...jux like the movie "Cinderella Story"..waiting for him to make tt move is like waitin for rain in a drought...i dnt knw how long i can wait...we've been together for SEVEN months liaoz...n yetx...he still lidat...reali headache...ARE we REALI meant to BE...i can sacrifice everytinjux to b wif him....can he..?..hav he even thot abt all these...he tells his fren tt i am "sticky" to him...have he thot abt hw i feel..?...how would he like it if i talked bad abt him to my frenx...n that fren happens to b his fren too...how wld he feel...bad rite..??...sometimes i reali wanna talk things seriousli wif him...i dnt want the problems to drag w/o gettin solved...but...he jux tends to flare up or defend himself...he alwaes ask mi to listen to him..wen he wants to complain smtin abt mi....but why doesnt he reali listen wen its my turn...
I reali ENVY other couples....i dnt knw why....i keep feeling mine has smtin missing...i dnt tink i eva get to do wat other couples do.....or...wateva i have dreamed my relationship to b...i jux want everytin to be sweet...FULL of SURPRISES...SweeT memories...Photographs...!...
i dnt knw...it seems tt...since young...my mum taught mi to put myself in others shoe...n see things in a different point of view...n i hope...he wld too...ya...i hope...n...wish...
Just The Girl @
4:32 PM
Just The Girl @
2:55 PM
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
i ENVY...!!!
wen i see...my bro had so many neocard of he n his ex....sianx...
whilst...i dnt even hav 1....
Just The Girl @
12:48 PM
